Exposed Moment

I apologize for this post being a day late. I suppose the distractions and indulgences of Fall Break have been too captivating.

On pg. 102, there is a fascinating interaction between Anna and Maryrose:

"The men laughed, and Maryrose smiled at me. I smiled back. Her smile was full of a sudden pain, and so I realised that mine was also. Then she looked uncomfortable, at having betrayed herself, and we quickly looked away from each other, from the exposed moment."

At first glance, it is peculiar that it takes Maryrose's communication of pain in order to cause Anna her own realization - almost as if Anna thinks this particular pain is something she is supposed to feel, but doesn't. Another interpretation, however, examines gender dynamics. Because the writing only portrays "the men [as] laugh[ing]", Maryrose and Anna are separated from them. Perhaps it takes her observation of Maryrose's pain-ridden smile to realize how they, collectively as women, are being objectified by the men.

As the passage continues, Anna narrates Maryrose's transformation from "pain" to "uncomfortab[ility]". She qualifies that this "uncomfortab[ility]" is the product of "having betrayed herself". What does this imply? That to recognize one's own sadness in an "exposed moment" is to betray ourselves? Or to betray the facade we've been trying to convince ourself of? -- that to acknowledge the suffering would be worse than to pretend it doesn't exist.